Caring a little too less....

Well, yesterday was my ALR hearing for my license....this is to determine whether or not I can drive. This is a really important court date, I either can have my license reinstated or they suspend it and I have to get an occupational. That being said, I haven't heard anything from my attorney and I have not had the urge to call him. I probably should, since its basically my responsibility, but I have no desire to hear good or bad news. Too many emotions going on over here.....I'm also anticipating my travel permit, which could or could not be in my dainty little hands on Monday morning. Its all a toss up folks, everyday of my life is a little less normal than others. Gone are the days that just breeze by without a worry in the world, oh what I would give for one moment of non-panic or swallowing without feeling every single bit of saliva go down my throat....yes, its that bad. It's always something....perhaps I forgot to call in to the bond office, or email my probation officer, did that pill I took have anything in it that might get me in trouble, are the fumes from my getting gas in my car going to set my device off, why is that policeman following me so close, will I ever get to my class that is required in order to get out of this program, how long do I have until I need my defensive driving, will my work find out and fire me, will this ever be over, will driving to get groceries, or pick up my kids ever feel normal again?

This goes on daily, minute by minute, hour by hour,..............It will all be over soon....breathe.