Smarter than ever and even more annoying....
Yesterday was my DIVERT class. For 9 hours I listened to someone talk about the effects of alcohol and drugs on driving skills, as well as how they both affect your mind and body long term. Let me just say one thing before I start this post...I am 38 years old, I've done my fair share of dabbling in controlled substances and late nights out...so honestly there is really nothing in this class that I didn't know nor have I not heard of before.....but I could not make up some of the things I heard yesterday, the people in this class were classic. I will post some of their stories below after I ramble about the nonsense of the actual curriculum.
First, We went over the traffic fatalities in Harris county, Texas due to drunk driving, I held in my facts and statistics on why this is most likely a large number, possibly because Harris county does not have any public transportation compared to most and is much larger than in other states. Etc etc. It was extremely hard for me not to argue, but I decided it is in my best interest at this point in the program to shut up and listen....wow maybe I am growing up :)
Anyway, she babbled on about the cost of a DWI, how fast alcohol gets into the blood stream and why and how to possibly slow this process (this came in handy for future reference). How alcohol is eliminated from the body....etc etc. Mostly things you know, but the DWI laws caught my attention and this program is crap...it is one of those things that the DA has conjured up to make themselves look good but the number (statistics) don't add up to a "recovery" program...it took me 2 hours of the class to figure these numbers and making this decision. So that was the jist of the afternoon....the facilitator made people participate then asked us how we were arrested and what was the scenario....this is where the good stuff comes in....of course I had pen in hand writing all of this down word for word to use in my blog :)
Participant #1
"I got pulled over because I was speeding...I had just bought a new pick-up truck and decided to test out the Hemi on it....I was going 85 in a 30mph zone and I had a open bottle of Chardonnay in the passenger seat"
(A cowboy in a big ass pick up with a bottle of Chardonnay??? hmmmm)
Participant #2
"A friend of mine just came back from Iraq and we were partying, he jumped from my third floor balcony...we think its because he was on yellow fever meds or it could have been the laced joint we smoked...we aren't sure. So I didn't make the cut to go in the ambulance so I drove to the hospital, I made a wrong turn and wound up in the postal office parking lot. A postal security dude pulled me over and called the cops....I complied and they didn't believe my story so they took me to jail."
(I didn't even know there were postal police....that's just bad luck)
Participant #3
"I was on a blind date, I don't remember anything...I blacked out...the date was really bad....I just remember being in the cop car and my date looking at me from outside the car window. I woke up in jail. I will never go on an Internet date again."
(no need for comment....classic"
Participant #4
"I was going 35 mph on the freeway."
(wow)
Participant #5
"I had 2 martini's at the club and went to my friends house, she wasn't home so I just let myself in. I bent down to pet her dog and the damn thing bit me in the face. So I drove myself to the hospital and I side swiped another car, they called the police and I'm bleeding everywhere from the damn dog bite. The cops dumped me at Ben Taub hospital, I hate that place so I took a cab to St. Lukes, they stitched me up and 3 hours later the cops came and threw me in jail. I hate that damn dog."
(2 martini's?? Sure...."
These are some of the top arrest stories in the group.....this was the highlight of my afternoon, nothing could have prepared me for that. When it came to me, I felt bad because I couldn't top any of the others, I was disappointed that I wasn't on a high speed chase or had not thrown up on an officer...I wanted something to share with the group to make it worth them listening. Good stuff and so happy everyone was so open...for my benefit of course.
So one class down, 16 hours of community service to go and 4 more months of my interlock....almost done!!!
Next post, hair follicle test and results.....cross fingers, wish me luck ;-)
Cheers :)
First, We went over the traffic fatalities in Harris county, Texas due to drunk driving, I held in my facts and statistics on why this is most likely a large number, possibly because Harris county does not have any public transportation compared to most and is much larger than in other states. Etc etc. It was extremely hard for me not to argue, but I decided it is in my best interest at this point in the program to shut up and listen....wow maybe I am growing up :)
Anyway, she babbled on about the cost of a DWI, how fast alcohol gets into the blood stream and why and how to possibly slow this process (this came in handy for future reference). How alcohol is eliminated from the body....etc etc. Mostly things you know, but the DWI laws caught my attention and this program is crap...it is one of those things that the DA has conjured up to make themselves look good but the number (statistics) don't add up to a "recovery" program...it took me 2 hours of the class to figure these numbers and making this decision. So that was the jist of the afternoon....the facilitator made people participate then asked us how we were arrested and what was the scenario....this is where the good stuff comes in....of course I had pen in hand writing all of this down word for word to use in my blog :)
Participant #1
"I got pulled over because I was speeding...I had just bought a new pick-up truck and decided to test out the Hemi on it....I was going 85 in a 30mph zone and I had a open bottle of Chardonnay in the passenger seat"
(A cowboy in a big ass pick up with a bottle of Chardonnay??? hmmmm)
Participant #2
"A friend of mine just came back from Iraq and we were partying, he jumped from my third floor balcony...we think its because he was on yellow fever meds or it could have been the laced joint we smoked...we aren't sure. So I didn't make the cut to go in the ambulance so I drove to the hospital, I made a wrong turn and wound up in the postal office parking lot. A postal security dude pulled me over and called the cops....I complied and they didn't believe my story so they took me to jail."
(I didn't even know there were postal police....that's just bad luck)
Participant #3
"I was on a blind date, I don't remember anything...I blacked out...the date was really bad....I just remember being in the cop car and my date looking at me from outside the car window. I woke up in jail. I will never go on an Internet date again."
(no need for comment....classic"
Participant #4
"I was going 35 mph on the freeway."
(wow)
Participant #5
"I had 2 martini's at the club and went to my friends house, she wasn't home so I just let myself in. I bent down to pet her dog and the damn thing bit me in the face. So I drove myself to the hospital and I side swiped another car, they called the police and I'm bleeding everywhere from the damn dog bite. The cops dumped me at Ben Taub hospital, I hate that place so I took a cab to St. Lukes, they stitched me up and 3 hours later the cops came and threw me in jail. I hate that damn dog."
(2 martini's?? Sure...."
These are some of the top arrest stories in the group.....this was the highlight of my afternoon, nothing could have prepared me for that. When it came to me, I felt bad because I couldn't top any of the others, I was disappointed that I wasn't on a high speed chase or had not thrown up on an officer...I wanted something to share with the group to make it worth them listening. Good stuff and so happy everyone was so open...for my benefit of course.
So one class down, 16 hours of community service to go and 4 more months of my interlock....almost done!!!
Next post, hair follicle test and results.....cross fingers, wish me luck ;-)
Cheers :)
Comments
Post a Comment